after Rainer Maria Rilke

Sometimes Vakkali feels: safe, accepted That he’s allowed to steal a look At the Teacher’s gorgeousness – How could anyone be so perfect? And quietly the days slip by, and he Sleeps peacefully at night.

At other times he awakens to The reality of the whispering of the Other monks – the odd looks they give Him; and he feels like an elephant Thrashing in a swamp; the moon’s blind Panic as she is swallowed up by Rahu.

At that point he knows – that life Will always be strange, joy will Always be fleeting, snatched in the Smallest of portions – and his hands

Form themselves into their own Mudra of resigned acceptance.

24 October 2020